Art and Life
by Youngauthor27
Summary: After the war, everyone begins to move on with their lives; everyone except Harry. Will Draco find a way to help his lover through his depression, or will he lose Harry to his own inner demons? *Sequal to Love Wins* *All Warnings Posted Inside*


***This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.***

**Warnings:**Strong Pervasive Language Throughout/ Slash (H/D)/ Graphic Sexual Content/ ** This story is AU; NOT Cannon Compliant. This story is also unbeta'd, so any and all mistakes are my own.**

**Notes:** This is a one-shot sequel to the story Love Wins; so if you haven't read that one, you may want to hit the back button and take a look at that one first. With that being said, on to the story. Enjoy!

**Pt 1: Moving On and Left Behind.**

Draco turned over; listening to the sound of the shower in the other room.

Harry used to hum; some odd tune about good feelings and ladies by some American band… 'The Violent Feminists'… 'Femmies'… something like that. Harry had let him listen to them a few times; most of their music was ridiculous, but that song was one of Harry's favourites and it made Draco smile on the few mornings he had woken up to it's soft sound riding the steam underneath the washroom door.

He and Harry had spent five wonderful months together before Voldemort attacked and the final conflict began. It had been glorious; waking up every morning next to his lover and going to bed with him every night; it was what he had dreamed of for years, and had lost all hope of ever having. They spent their days training harder than they ever had before and preparing themselves for the coming storm, and their nights making love like horny schoolboys.

The final battle had lasted four sleepless days and nights, with the attacks beginning in Hogsmead and Diagon Alley and spreading to the outlying villages to farm homes and smaller wizarding communities and had finally come to its end on Hogwart's castle grounds. It had taken a day to round up the stray Death Eaters scattered about, though some of them had escaped; Draco's father being one of them. The damage had been catastrophic, and the losses to both sides had been staggering; but they had emerged victorious, and the wizarding population was more than ready to put aside their losses and revel in their newfound peace and freedom.

Slowly, the number of people at Grimmauld Place began to dwindle. Charlie left to move in with Oliver. Arthur and the twins left to rebuild the Burrow; Hermione and Pansy decided to travel for a while. "We need to _do_ something, something for ourselves." Pansy had told him one evening. "We just can't do it here, where we have to be reminded of what's happened, of the things we've seen… the things we've done."

They had been saddened to see their two best friends go, but they knew it was for the best. Now they got a postcard nearly every week from the girls, complete with a ridiculous picture and an obscene amount of whatever the local specialty of wherever they were happened to be.

It was right after they left that Harry fell into his depression. He'd tried to fight it, keeping busy around the house, never staying still for longer than a few minutes; it made Draco nervous, but he understood. He himself had taken up cookery, having found one of Molly's old manuals. It was similar to potions work in many ways, but far more flexible. He had room to be creative with the food, to put his own flair on things; it was a very peaceful, very relaxing way to spend his time; almost therapeutic. Harry on the other hand continued to flit from project to project, never satisfied by anything his hands found to busy themselves with.

"I need to do something." He'd said one night; his words mirroring Pansy's. "I don't know how to _not_ be doing something because it's all I've ever done. It's the peace, and the quiet; it's like I have this unbearable lightness weighing me down, burying me… and I don't know how to stop it… I don't even know if I want to stop it."

They'd talked for hours that night. "What about the rebuilding effort?" Draco had said; and that had been it. Harry had gone out the next day under a Glamour and joined the thousands of anonymous strangers, the other survivors, as they began to rebuild their towns, their homes and their lives.

It had had been alright at first. Harry was able to get out of the house without the pressure of the media, he was doing something with his hands, something tangible; and he was helping people, something he had always done; the only thing he thought he knew how to do.

That had been four months ago, and while Harry hadn't gotten worse, he hadn't gotten any better either.

Draco knew he was probably being impatient. He had gone to Madame Pomfrey a few weeks after the girls had left and she'd explained that Harry was suffering from a legitimate illness; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, something that muggle soldiers were often afflicted with coming home from battle. She'd told him to be supportive, but to give Harry his space when he needed it; to talk with him when he needed to talk and to listen when he needed to vent, but most importantly to help him find a way to work it out. It wasn't something they could fix over night, and until Harry found something he could really identify with, something he could pour himself into without losing himself, it would be touch and go for a while. His brain told him Harry was still just trying to adjust; but his heart told him something else.

The little things he loved so much about his boyfriend were missing. The way his eyes sparkled when he laughed, the way his smile lit up his face; the way he chewed the nail of his middle finger on his left hand when he was really concentrating on something; his sweet baritone humming softly on the other side of the washroom door as he showered… it was all gone. Draco felt like he spent his days with a sad parody of the man he loved. He was worried for him, afraid for him… afraid of losing him to himself; and that wasn't something Draco knew how to fix.

He turned to his side, propping himself up on his elbow as Harry opened the door and stepped into their room.

"Did I wake you?" he asked quietly.

Draco shook his head. "I can't really sleep until I know you're home." He smiled, pulling back the covers.

"Sorry I'm late." Harry said as he slid in next to his lover, kissing him lightly on the lips. "The weather held us up; we would have left it for tomorrow, but it had to be finished by tonight and half the people on our team left right before sun down so…"

"It's alright." Draco said as he pressed a finger to his lips. "Did you eat? I left your supper on the range."

Harry nodded. "It was wonderful, thank you." his lips curved up into a smile, but it never reached his eyes.

"Was it a bad day?" Draco asked quietly; his fingers tracing soothing lines across his lover's brow.

Harry was quiet for a moment before answering. "No… I'm just tired."

Draco hoped his smile came across as encouraging, and not at all reflecting the anxiety he felt at the lifeless look in Harry's eyes. "Let's get some sleep then." He whispered as he pressed a gently kiss to his lips.

He moaned quietly as he tried to pull away, only to feel Harry twist his fingers into his hair and hold him still as he licked at his lips. "I'm not that tired." He whispered as he pulled away slightly.

Draco grinned at the dull spark he saw buried beneath those green depths; those moments were so rare these days, he eagerly took them whenever he could, hoping he wasn't being as selfish as he felt. He sighed as Harry kissed a line down his throat, nipping at his collarbone. "Harry…" he whispered.

"Draco." He felt Harry's lips against his flushed skin, their soft caress making him shudder.

Harry ran the fingers of his left hand down his lover's side and up his spine, his right tangled in his soft blond hair as he kissed the man he loved deeply. He missed Draco; he saw him every day, went to bed with him every night and woke up next to him every morning; but it wasn't the same, it wasn't right… _he_ wasn't right. He missed being with his lover, he ached for him, but it was like he couldn't reach him. There was something, huge and heavy around him, closing in on him all the time, and no matter what he did, he couldn't get around it or break through it.

He whimpered quietly, trying to force those thoughts, those bad feelings down; he just wanted a few minutes, a few peaceful minutes with Draco, without the threat of impending doom hanging over his head, or the darkness that threatened to swallow him whole at ever turn… just he and Draco, loving each other, the way it was supposed to be.

"Did I hurt you?" Draco asked breathily, his hand stilling its movement.

"No," Harry shook his head, bringing himself back to the present. "I'm fine." He gasped as Draco's firm grip tightened around his cock and began its movement again; he bit his lip, thrusting up into his lover's warm grasp.

"I love you." Draco whispered as he pumped his fist over Harry's shaft, leaning in to kiss him again. He sighed as their tongues danced inside his mouth. He'd missed this, kissing his lover; not just a quick peck on the lips before bed, or a rushed goodbye on the way out in the morning. He missed _feeling_ Harry kiss him, the way each slick caress made his spine tingle and brought a fresh onslaught of emotion; he missed making love with his lover. "Fuck me." He whimpered against Harry's lips.

"Yes." Harry hissed as he slicked his fingers, pressing them to Draco's entrance and slipping inside. The tight heat made his breath catch in anticipation; it had been too long. "Draco…" he sighed as he worked another finger into his lover, preparing him thoroughly. He reached for him, turning them over so Draco straddled his hips. "Ride me." He gasped.

"Yes…" Draco hissed, leaning forward to lick and suck at Harry's lips as he reached behind himself and grasped the other man's cock, positioning it at his loosened entrance. He sighed as he raised himself up and slid down his lover's thick length slowly. "Oh fuck… Harry…" he whispered as he stilled, relishing the burn.

Harry lay motionless, his hands gripped Draco's thighs as he forced himself to lie still; it was like coming home. Harry bit his lip as Draco pulled up slowly before sinking back down, setting a slow pace. He looked up into his lover's flashing grey eyes, watching as his mouth fell open as he rode his cock with sure deliberate thrusts; he was beautiful. "Draco…" he whispered as his hand reached for the blonde's weeping erection.

Draco screamed as he felt Harry's hand grasp his cock firmly and tug, his hands rushing forward to dig into his shoulders as he sped up his movements, thrusting into Harry's fist as he sank back onto his cock.

Harry tensed at Draco's wordless scream of pleasure; the sound morphing into something else, something terrible. He swallowed hard, trying to fight the sudden claustrophobia settling in around him, his hand stilling in the process.

Draco looked down as Harry's hand stilled, his eyes taking in the look of thinly veiled panic and terror in those dark green orbs. He stilled his movements, reaching for his lover's face. "Harry…" he whispered. "Where are you babe?"

Harry shook his head, his chest heaving, though not from arousal as it should have been. He cursed himself for the pain that was flashing through Draco's eyes; a look he had put there. "I'm fine…" he whispered. "Don't stop… please." He said, feeling the hot prick of tears behind his eyes. "Please…I'm sorry…" he whispered as Draco leaned down, his grasp on his face tightening as he kissed him tenderly.

"Fuck." Harry gasped as he felt his lover slide up, his cock slipping from his heat. "Draco…" he whimpered.

"Shh… it's okay baby." Draco whispered as he slid down Harry's body, grasping his lover and taking his length into his mouth. He took him to the root, swallowed around the head before pulling away, bobbing his head as he reached down, taking himself in hand as he fisted his own cock in time with his movements.

"Shit… Draco!" Harry gasped moments later as he came down his lover's throat.

Draco braced himself, swallowing every last drop and moaning as he shot his own release over his hand and stomach. He sighed as he pulled away, resting his forehead on Harry's hip for a moment before crawling up his lover's body and taking the trembling man in his arms. "Shh…" he whispered as he cradled Harry's head to his chest, stroking his damp hair.

"Fuck… fuck… fuck… so fucked up…" Harry sobbed into Draco's neck. "I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to apologise for." Draco said quietly, his voice thick with unshed tears. "You're not fucked up, Harry."

"I am… I am, and it's fucking _us_ up… I'm sorry." He cried.

"Listen to me." Draco said firmly, pressing his lips to Harry's ear. "You are _not_ fucking us up. You're going to get through this; _we_ are going to get through this… I promise. I love you." he whispered.

He felt Harry shaking in his embrace; he cradled him close, stroking his hair and whispering soothing words of love and encouragement as he continued to cry.

It was sometime later; Draco looked down to find Harry sleeping fitfully in his arms. He settled himself against the pillows, pulling Harry closer to his chest. He ran a soothing finger over his dark brows and down the strong line of his jaw, feeling the prick of stubble. "I love you." he whispered, pressing a kiss to his forehead as he began to hum.

"_Good feeling… won't you stay with me… just a little longer…"_

~*~

Two Weeks Later

Draco hummed as he added fresh cilantro to the pan, hoping that his sudden lift in spirits was somehow indicative of how Harry was feeling as well.

Two weeks had passed since Harry's last breakdown, and things hadn't gotten much better since. Draco had been forced to slip calming draughts into his tea on several occasions just to get him calmed down enough to go to sleep; had Pomfrey not strictly cautioned him against the use of Dreamless Sleep, he would have given him that as well. He knew the potion could cause long term side effects when administered to patients with mental illness, but Harry wasn't insane and Draco was desperate.

He had come to a decision; if Harry wasn't showing signs of improvement within the next seven days, he was going to see about having a mind healer come round to visit. He knew Harry wouldn't want to be admitted to what was basically the psych ward at St. Mungo's, but it was becoming more and more evident everyday that he needed professional help if he was ever going to make any kind of recovery; and no matter how much Draco wanted to be the one to see him through this, he felt like he was doing his lover a disservice by not stepping aside an letting someone else help take care of him. Once again, he felt he was being selfish.

Draco smiled as he felt the wards shift and reset themselves just as quickly. He felt his heart skip a beat and butterflies settling in his stomach as he heard the quiet 'pop' of apparition behind him; he turned and stood staring into the smiling face of his lover.

Harry's shirt and denims were covered in paint; the bright splotches of colour smeared across his face and streaked through his hair. His bright green eyes were shining as he grinned at the blond, his heart racing as he took in the flash of excitement he saw in his lover's silver gaze. "Hi." He whispered.

"Hello." Draco smiled, his heart thumping with nervous excitement. He felt like he had moments before their fist kiss; he could feel the pull between them and he was powerless to stop it.

He sighed as he felt Harry's body press against his, unsure of who had stepped toward whom, but none of that mattered as he felt his lover's lips brushing softly over his. He parted his lips, his tongue tracing the outline of Harry's and moaning quietly as he felt the other man's tongue touch his tentatively. They stood in the kitchen, their tongues touching, tangling, caressing outside their mouths for several minutes, before Draco pushed his fingers through his love's dark hair and pulled him forward, sealing his lips over Harry's and sucking his tongue into his mouth.

Harry groaned as Draco ravished him, thrusting his hips forward and relishing the thrill that ran down his spine at the feel of the blonde's answering hardness. He ran a hand down his back and palmed his arse, pushing him forward as he ground their erections together.

"Oh god…" Draco gasped as he broke away. "Good day?" he asked breathlessly.

Harry grinned, panting as he pulled back to stare at his lover. "Fantastic."

The two stood, holding each other and trying to calm themselves.

"Are you hungry?" Draco finally asked.

"Yes." Harry nodded.

"I'm… I'm making chicken."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know." Draco sighed as he pressed his lips to Harry's once more; his hands roaming over every inch of skin he could get to as Harry reciprocated his frantic movements.

"Fuck!" Draco gasped as the back of his thighs hit the kitchen table; he almost squealed in delight as he felt Harry's hands gripping his arse, lifting him up onto the edge and stepping between his legs. "God Harry…" he moaned as he felt the other man's hands fumble with the fastening on his trousers before pulling them along with his shorts down to his knees. He squirmed the rest of the way out of them, letting them fall to the floor as he reached to undo the fly on Harry's denims. Harry groaned as he wrapped his hand around his erection and stroked.

"Jesus Draco… missed you… so much." Harry panted as he thrust into Draco's fist. "Legs up." He said, pressing his fingers to Draco's entrance and slicking them before pressing two in at once.

"Shit!" Draco hissed as he wrapped his legs around Harry's waist and pulled him closer, riding the fingers buried deep in his arse. "More…" he gasped as the other man crooked his fingers and grazed his sweet spot.

Harry grinned as he added a third finger, thrusting a few times before adding a fourth.

"Oh god Harry, fuck me now!" Draco yelled as he threw his head back, writhing on Harry's hand.

"Yes…" Harry hissed as he removed his fingers, slicking his cock and pressing into his lover in one smooth thrust. He groaned as felt his balls pressing against Draco's arse, his legs tightening around his waist. "Love you." he whispered into the hollow of his throat before he began to thrust.

Draco bit back a sob as he felt his lover move inside him. How he'd missed this, missed _him_. He opened his eyes, staring into Harry's piercing green graze. "Yes…" he whispered as he felt his balls tightening.

Neither lasted very long, the sensations too good after too long and their emotions running rampant. Harry's magic singed the air he thrust one last time, "Draco!" he cried out as he came, filling his lover's channel as he buried himself in his tight heat.

"Ah, god… Harry!" Draco screamed, his arse clenching painfully tight around Harry's cock as he came, milking the last few moments his lover's orgasm from him.

Harry panted as he relaxed, laying his head on the blonde's shoulder. "I love you." he whispered into his ear.

"Mmm… I love you too." Draco sighed as he held his lover close.

It was several minutes before either man could move. Harry finally sat up, looking down at Draco who was still lying on the table. He smiled, laying his palms flat against his pale chest and running them over his ribcage and through the cooling come on his belly, the mess disappearing as he went.

Draco shivered at the feel of Harry's magic on his skin; he smiled up at his dark haired beauty.

"I hope I didn't interrupt you earlier." Harry smiled as he pressed a gentle kiss to his navel.

"I think I can forgive you." Draco grinned. "I hadn't really started yet; you're home early."

"Yeah… I just… I needed to come home… I needed you." Harry whispered.

"I'm glad you did." Draco said quietly as he sat up. "Clothes?"

Harry nodded, running a hand over their bodies, their clothes vanishing in an instant. "Shower?"

Draco grinned as he took his lover's hand and apparated them to their washroom.

~*~

After a long hot shower and the best blowjob Draco had ever received, the couple found themselves in the kitchen once more.

"I'm really not sure how this happened." Draco shook his head as he stared at what would have been a very delicious bird as it laid smoking slightly in the roasting pan. "I mean, it should still be pretty raw right now."

"It was probably my fault." Harry shrugged as he scratched the back of his neck.

"You mean you got so hot and bothered you burned my chicken?" Draco grinned.

"I was excited." Harry shrugged scrunching his nose up.

Draco laughed. "Well, I guess we could get take-out."

"No need." Harry smiled as he walked over to the ice box and dug around; coming back a few moments later, two white boxes in hand. "You laughed at me at the market, but _this_ is why you should _always_ have Hot Pockets handy." He grinned. "Now… pepperoni or… ham and cheese?"

Draco rolled his eyes as he looked between the two boxes. "They both look disgusting. I could make the same thing, only it would actually be edible!"

"Yeah; but it would be like an hour and I'm hungry now." Harry shrugged. "Pick."

"Well, what about take-out?" Draco tried.

"Thirty minutes, hungry now." Harry said. "Pick."

"But Harry…"

"Pick a fucking Hot Pocket." Harry demanded. "Now, Draco."

"Fine." Draco hissed, narrowing his eyes at his lover, though there was no real malice behind the gesture. "We'll both have one of each, shall we?"

Harry smiled, placing a quick kiss to the blonde's lips. "Great! You're a genius; two seconds." He said brightly as opened the packages and popped the sandwiches into the microwave. It had been the only muggle appliance Harry had insisted on, and it had been a bugger trying to convert its energy needs to run on a magical supply; but it was Harry's house, and he was the only person who used it anyway. Draco had a plethora of muggle appliances, preferring to cook the muggle way; but he still hadn't figured the noisy thing out, as quite honestly, it scared him.

He stood back, admiring the smooth planes of Harry's shoulder blades as he stood in his shorts, watching the little plate turn as their dinner was cooked to within an inch of its life. He wasn't sure what had happened to cause such a change in his lover but he was anxious to find out.

"Ready!" Harry called as the little bell dinged. "Ouch!" he hissed as he slid the hot food onto two plates; he summoned cutlery and napkins from the drawer as he handed one to the blond, grinning as he did.

Draco took the offered plate; his nose scrunched as he poked at it.

"It's not going to bite you Draco."

"It looks like shite."

"No… I don't believe it does." Harry said slowly, grinning as Draco stuck his tongue out at him. "Now, let's give thanks." He said, closing his eyes tight.

"What…?"

_"God is great_

_The earth is good._

_Let us thank them_

_For this food._

_By their hands_

_We all do feast_

_We thank them for _

_This daily mete."_

Harry smiled as he opened his eyes.

"What was that?" Draco asked.

"It's something we used to say together before meals in primary school; also known as asking a blessing."

Draco nodded slowly. "I like it." He smiled as he headed for the table. He stood at the end, staring at the candles and salt and pepper shaker he had knocked over earlier. He looked at Harry, the two of them laughing before Harry waved a hand and righted the place settings and cleaned the mess before sitting down and taking a bite of his food.

"Shit!" he yelled.

"What?" Draco gasped.

"Isssss hot!" Harry hissed as he rolled the bite around on his tongue.

Draco rolled his eyes. "Fork and knife darling, fork and knife." He said as he cut a small piece off the end and blew on it softly before popping it into his mouth, smiling as he chewed.

"Shu uh!" Harry mumbled around his mouthful.

"What was that, love?" Draco asked as he wiped primly at the corner of his mouth.

Harry flipped him off.

Draco threw his head back and laughed.

~*~

"So, what did you do today?" Draco asked as the two lay in bed later that night.

"Nothing out of the ordinary, really." Harry said, his fingers laced with Draco's as he played with his hand. "They asked me to paint, which isn't something _I_ normally do, but it's something we do nearly everyday."

"What did you paint?" the blond asked as he leaned into Harry's chest, running a hand up and down his arm.

"Umm, just a wall. It was nice though… there was a piece cedar near where I was standing, some debris from an explosion in the next building over, and I raised my hand to wipe the hair out of my eyes and when I dropped my arm, I realized I had splattered paint on it. So I was looking at it, the pattern, and… I don't know, I thought it looked kind of pretty, so I slung the brush again… and then again, and then again with a different colour; and pretty soon I was standing over this piece of wood I had covered in paint splatters." Harry said quietly. "It was silly I guess… it felt good though; kind of cathartic I guess. I felt like I was venting without having to say anything… like I was saying more than if I had spoken out loud. I don't know… but anyway, this lady walked up and saw it and started going on about how beautiful it was and asked if I would let her have it. I said yes and she asked me to sign the bottom, which I wasn't very keen on at first, but she was practically begging, so I did. But she said… it was nice to see something so beautiful come out of so much destruction… and it just… it made me feel good."

"I'm so proud of you." Draco whispered as he looked back at his lover.

Harry just smiled, blushing slightly.

"I am proud of you, you know that don't you?" Draco asked as he turned in Harry's arms to touch his cheek.

Harry nodded his head, "Yeah." He whispered.

"How did you sign your work?"

"My work?" Harry asked, grinning.

"Well that's what it is." Draco said.

"James Evans." Harry said quietly.

Draco smiled as he nodded.

"Are you going back tomorrow?" Draco asked a few minutes later.

"Yeah; yeah I am." Harry smiled. "I think today was the start of something good; I think the work's helping me, it's just taken a little longer than we had hoped."

"Alright." Draco grinned as he sat up, crawling into Harry's lap and straddling his thighs. "So… what time were you thinking of heading down there?" he asked as he rocked gently back and forth on his lover's hips.

"I thought I might have a bit of a lie-in in the morning, actually; head down around noon." Harry smiled as he licked his lips. "What do you think?"

"I think that's a marvelous idea." Draco said, leaning in to press a kiss to Harry's waiting mouth. He smiled as he felt Harry's hands pulling him down to the mattress, cradling him in his arms as he pressed a line of slow kisses down his neck.

"I love you Draco." He whispered.

**Pt 2: Art and Life**

Ten Days Later

Draco awoke to an empty bed and the sound of the shower running.

He sighed as he ran his hand over Harry's pillow; it was still warm. He bit his lip, choking back a sob as he rose from the bed and started dressing.

Things had been so good between them last week. He and Harry had spent that first evening making love, talking and joking like they used to. The next morning had just been a continuation of the night before; and then Harry had left to join the group, but when he came home… they had had a good night, talking and sharing a meal, making love again; but Harry had been quieter, more subdued. Draco had hoped his mood would lift again, but after the third day, Harry was back to what he had been before; closed off, distant… hollow.

Draco shook his head, trying to put his memories of the previous night out of his mind as he made his way downstairs to start breakfast.

Harry had come home early; Draco had been excited when he'd felt the wards shift, announcing his lover's arrival, but his spirits fell when he laid eyes on him. He was standing in the entryway, his back against the wall.

"Harry?" Draco had said quietly.

"Why am I doing this?" Harry had whispered. "Why can't I just be happy like everybody else?"

Draco had stepped forward, his arms outstretched, but Harry stepped away, shaking his head. "No…" he'd said as he put a hand out to stop his boyfriend. "I just… I'm tired." He said as he headed for the stairs.

Draco stood, staring dumbly as his lover walked away. He could feel the hot prick of tears behind his eyes and he did nothing to stem their flow as Harry disappeared from view. His back hit the wall and he slid down, holding his head between his knees as he cried in the corridor.

This was it; he was losing him. The reality of what was happening to his lover, what was happening to them, settled in around him and he felt as though he were suffocating.

It was a long while later when he finally stood and made his way to the kitchen. He made a quick supper of toasted sandwiches and crisps and set the table before apparating to the hallway outside their room and opening the door quietly.

Harry was lying in the bed, heavy dark circles rimmed his eyes as he stared blankly ahead; Draco felt his heart sink at the sight of him.

"Babe…?" he whispered. "I made supper; are you hungry?"

"No." Harry whispered, his gaze still set on the wall.

Draco nodded, choking back a sob. "Alright. Do you want me to…"

"Stay."

"Alright." Draco whispered as he slipped out of his clothes and slid into bed next to his lover. He sighed heavily as he draped an arm over his chest, Harry didn't even move; they'd fallen asleep like that.

Draco ran a hand through his hair as he set about cleaning the dishes from the night before and started breakfast.

About a half hour later, he set the finished plates on the table; Harry still hadn't joined him. His brow furrowed as looked at the clock; he felt the icy grip of panic squeezing as his heart froze… something was wrong.

He apparated to the bedroom without a second thought, his eyes scanning the room as he searched for his lover. "Harry?" he called.

There was no answer.

He looked to the washroom; the door was still closed and he could hear the shower running still.

"Harry?" he asked as he tried the door handle; it was locked.

"Harry? Harry, open the door."

Silence.

He crossed the room retrieving his wand from the nightstand and cursing his inability to perform wandless spells as he pointed it at the door. "_Alohamora._" He said, sighing in relief as the latch clicked.

He opened the door, searching through the steam for his dark haired lover.

"Harry?" he called as he walked to the shower; Harry sat, his knees drawn to his chest, shivering under the hot spray. "Harry." He said gently as he turned off the water and took the other man's face in his hands. "Babe?"

"It won't stop…" Harry whispered through chattering teeth as tears ran down his face.

"What won't stop baby?" Draco asked quietly as he rubbed soothing circles over his check bones.

"Everything." He whispered. "I keep hearing them scream, and they won't stop and then it's so quiet… everything's always so quiet and dark… it's heavy… and it hurts." He choked as he sobbed. He grasped his hair, pulling fiercely as he shook his head. "It hurts and it won't stop." He whimpered.

"Harry stop." Draco said quietly, his fingers trying to loosen Harry's grip on himself as silent tears streamed down his cheeks. "Baby, you're hurting yourself, stop." He said as he pried his fingers loose, taking Harry's hands in his own. "Come on."

"I can't." Harry sobbed.

"Yes you can baby… come on, just stand up." Draco urged his lover to his feet.

"Draco please… I just want it all to stop. Make it stop."

"I will baby, I promise." Draco nodded through his tears. "Now come one; let's get you dried off."

He helped Harry to his feet, casting warming and drying charms on his still shivering frame; he shook his head, summoning a sleeping draught from the medicine cupboard as they passed on their way to the bed.

"Please… please…" Harry whispered again and again as Draco put him to bed, pulling the sheets up around him as he took the stopper from the vial.

"I know baby, I know." He whispered as he ran a hand through his dark hair. "Will you drink this for me?" he asked, tipping the draught to Harry's lips.

Harry opened his mouth, swallowing without question.

"Good; thank you." Draco smiled as he wiped at his own eyes. "Go to sleep, love." He whispered as he stroked his lover's face and hair. "It'll be better when you wake up; I promise."

~*~

"You need to take him to St. Mungo's." Charlie said calmly as Draco paced around the study.

"Any other day I'd be tripping over the fucking thing!" he growled as he rifled through the bookshelf, pulling the books off one by one and tossing them to floor as he turned up empty handed.

"Draco, are you listening to me?"

"Yes, I heard you Charlie; and I told you, I will take him to St. Mungo's when it becomes absolutely necessary, but until that time…"

"I think it's become pretty necessary!" Charlie said.

"Where the hell is that goddamn directory?!" Draco yelled as he started tearing the cushions off of the furniture.

"Draco you have to let them do something for him, they're the only ones who…"

"No Charlie." Draco said firmly as he stood, staring his friend in the eye. "What I have to do is help him; myself. Do you have any idea what they'll do to him there? They'll drug him, they'll lock him away in a cute little ward with fairies and flowers, the press will have a field day… they'll ruin him Charlie. I can't let that happen... I have to try… I promised him." Draco said earnestly.

"He's right Charlie." Oliver spoke up; he turned and searched through the drawer in the writing desk, coming up a few moments later with a London directory. "How would you feel if it was me?" he said as he handed the book to Draco. "We'll stay with him." He said. "What should we do if he wakes up?"

"He shouldn't. I gave him some Dreamless Sleep." He winced as he saw Charlie shaking his head. "I had to." He told Oliver.

"I thought you said Pomfrey…"

"Pomfrey didn't watch as her lover suffered a mental break in her arms." Draco rounded on Charlie. "You didn't see him Charlie… the look in his eyes… I was afraid… I was afraid he was going to hurt himself."

"I just don't think…"

"Leave it Charlie." Oliver said quietly. Charlie looked as though he wanted to protest, but kept his mouth shut. "You do what you have to sweetheart." he said as he placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder. "We're here for you."

Draco looked back at Charlie. "Are you?"

Charlie looked hurt as he stepped toward Draco, "Of course we are." he said.

Draco nodded; a small smile at the edge of his lips. "I'll be back soon; just… you know."

Oliver nodded as he pushed the blond toward the door. "Everything will be fine, just go." He said as he kissed his cheek.

"Thank you, both of you." Draco said, nodding to Charlie.

"There's nothing to thank us for." Charlie smiled as he wrapped his arms around his friend.

Draco returned his embrace briefly before pulling away and nodding to his friends. "I'll be back." He said as he apparated from the room.

~*~

Harry awoke several hours later in Draco's arms. His mouth tasted like a small herd of burrowing animals had been slaughtered mercilessly inside it while he'd slept; he licked his lips. "Draco?"

"Evening love." Draco smiled down at him. "How do you feel?"

Harry stared at him, blinking owlishly. "I don't know."

"Okay." Draco nodded. "Can you sit up, I made you some soup."

"I'm not hungry." Harry croaked.

"You are hungry; you haven't eaten in over twenty four hours." Draco said softly as he helped pull Harry into a sitting position. "And besides, it's potato."

Harry looked at the still steaming bowl on the bedside table. "With bacon?" he asked quietly.

"And chives." Draco smiled.

Harry stared at the bowl for a few seconds before nodding and chewing at his lip. "I have to go to the loo."

Draco nodded. "I'll be here when you get back." He smiled, a feeling of sadness washing over him at the look of relief he saw flash through his lover's eyes.

Harry stood slowly, his feet touching the cold floor gingerly as he took careful steps toward the washroom. He made it a few steps before swaying on his feet; Draco was at his side before he'd even realized what had happened. "Sorry…" he frowned. "Guess I'm still a little doped up."

"It's alright." Draco said comfortingly. "Come on."

Draco helped him to the washroom, making sure he could stand on his own before waiting by the door.

Harry washed his hands and shuffled back into the room, his lover holding his arm; he felt mortified for himself, and sorry for his lover.

"Now; supper." Draco smiled as he made Harry comfortable. He placed the breakfast tray over his lap and slid in beside him; he waved his wand and a soft, up-tempo beat filled the room.

"_Did you do too many drugs?_

_I did too many drugs._

_Did you do too many drugs too… baby."_

Harry looked over at his lover, a small smile playing at his lips. "I thought you hated them?"

"I don't _hate_ them; I think their music is ridiculous." Draco grinned. "But it's your favourite, and they make me laugh."

Harry nodded, turning his attention back to his soup. "How long was I asleep?" he whispered a few minutes later.

"About fourteen hours, give or take."

"You stayed with me the whole time?" Harry asked, his eyes pleading as they bored into Draco's.

"No." Draco shook his head.

"…Oh." Harry said quietly, his gaze falling back to his cooling meal.

"I went into London."

Harry was quiet for a while. "I guess you had a lot to think about." He whispered.

"I didn't have anything to think about." Draco said soothingly but firmly. He knew what Harry was thinking, and he knew he needed to reassure his lover. "Did you think I would leave you?"

"I wouldn't blame you if you did." Harry whispered.

Draco closed his eyes, forcing his tears away at the defeated sound of his lover's voice. He leaned over, taking the table from him and replacing himself in Harry's lap. He pressed his palms to his face as he settled his weight against him, gray eyes boring into lifeless green. "Listen to me. I love you; and I need you to believe me when I tell you that I would never leave you, I _will _never leave you. I made a promise, and I intend to keep it; do you understand me?" he whispered, his eyes glistening with unshed tears as he cradled his lover's face in his hands.

Harry stared back, his eyes misting over as he nodded. "I don't know what to do anymore. I thought it was getting better but… it's worse now than it was. I just want it to stop. There's too much going on up here," he whispered, pressing a finger to his temple. "All the time; and its heavy and its dark… I can _feel_ it… trying to get out… and I can't get it out and its hurting me."

"I know baby." Draco said as he pressed their foreheads together.

"It hurts Draco… I just don't want to hurt anymore." Harry said, his resolve crumbling as his body was wracked with his sobs.

"I know baby, I know." Draco whispered as he ran soothing hands through Harry's dark hair and over his shoulders. "I know… we're going to fix this… and I think I know how."

"Ha… how?" Harry hiccoughed against the blonde's chest.

"I want to show you something." Draco said leaning away and turning Harry's face upward to meet his gaze. "Will you come with me?" he nodded as he brushed the hair out of Harry's eyes.

Harry took a deep breath, trying to calm himself as he looked back at his lover's hopeful expression. He nodded his head as he wiped at his eyes and nose.

"Alright." Draco smiled as he grabbed his wand, summoning a tee shirt and black sleep pants from Harry's wardrobe. "Let's get you dressed, yeah?"

Harry dressed in silence, hiccoughing every once in a while as he tried to settle his breathing. "Okay."

Draco smiled as he wrapped his arms around his lover. "Walk or apparate?"

"Where are we going?"

"To the solarium."

"Apparate."

Draco nodded as he held Harry tight; he closed his eyes and opened them outside the solarium door.

"I remembered what you said about the painting" he began. "I just though it would be worth a try." He said as he turned the door handle and pushed it open.

Harry stood in the doorway, his eyes adjusting to the light as he looked around. The front and side walls of the solarium were glass, giving the occupants a wide view of the garden that belonged to Grimmauld. Moonlight filtered through the windows casting a white light over the space; Harry's breath caught as he realized what he was looking at. There in the center of the room stood a large wooden easel, canvases of all sizes and lengths were stacked up around it. Two long tables stretched the length of the side window; paints, watercolours, acrylics and oils in tubes and in tins of every colour imaginable lined their surface. Brushes and rollers were organized in pails; boxes of pens, pencils, and charcoal were stacked neatly. There were pads for sketching and pads for paint; Draco had even gone so far as to purchase a large quantity of clay along with a spinning wheel and a water basin.

"Draco…" Harry whispered, shaking his head as he tried to take it all in.

"I know it's a lot, and you don't have to use it, but I thought it was worth a try; and its here if you wanted…" Draco began to ramble but was cut off as Harry turned and took his face in his hands, pressing his lips the blonde's in a hard kiss.

"I can't believe you did this." He whispered as he pulled away, fresh tears streaming down his face.

"Believe it." Draco whispered as he looked into his lover's eyes. "I would do so much more for you Harry; I will do more, and we have the rest of our lives for me to prove it to you."

Harry smiled.

Draco felt a weight lifting from his chest as he watched his eyes light up. Harry turned back to the canvas, staring at it for a few moments. "Do you want to try it?" Draco asked tentatively.

Harry turned back to him, nodding vigorously. "Yeah."

"Okay." Draco smiled. "I'll go make some tea."

"Alright." Harry said as he walked toward the easel.

Draco smiled after his lover before turning and heading toward the kitchen.

~*~

Three Months Later

Draco groaned as he turned over, his arm sweeping over the empty space next to him. "Harry?"

His call was met with the familiar baritone hum of his lover over the sound of the shower in the next room. Draco smiled as he stretched, scratching his stomach. He stood, padding softly into the washroom; an impish grin stole across his lips minutes later as he pulled the chain on the toilet and counted. _"1...2...3..."_

"Ow… shit… Draco!"

Draco burst out laughing as he ran for the bedroom; Harry was out of the shower a moment later chasing after him. "You little bastard!" he grinned as he pounced on the blond, tackling him to the bed.

"Oh, Harry, you're soaking!" Draco squirmed underneath him as he giggled.

"And whose fault is that?" Harry panted as he pinned his lover's hands above his head.

"Yours, for jumping out of the shower prematurely!"

"I wouldn't have jumped out had you not attempted to scald my cock off!" Harry laughed.

"Mmm… shall I kiss it and make it better." Draco purred as he thrust his hips up against his captor's.

"Oh no…" Harry grinned down at the blond. "I think a little retribution is in order." He said as he flipped Draco onto his stomach and laid a hard slap against his bare arse.

"Shit!" Draco screamed he grasped at the bed sheets. He groaned as Harry's hand bit into his skin again.

"You'll hold your tongue while you take your punishment; do you understand me?"

"Oh fuck…" Draco groaned into the pillow beneath him.

Harry grinned as he slapped him again. "And you'll have another for that foul language. Now, you will address me properly when spoken to and you will otherwise hold your tongue, do you understand me?"

"Yes!" Draco gasped as he felt his lover's hand on his arse again.

"What was that?" Harry barked from behind.

"Yes sir!" Draco shouted.

"Very good." Harry purred as he ran his nails over the reddened skin of his lover's arse. "Now, I think five is an appropriate number for your misbehaviour, don't you?"

"No." Draco whimpered, Harry's nails running over his sensitive skin and sending shivers up his spine.

Harry's hand fell hard and fast against his arse. "What was that?"

"No sir!" Draco groaned.

"Well what would you deem appropriate; certainly not less than five." Harry said conversationally as his fingers began their gentle patterns against Draco's skin once more.

"No sir." Draco said, biting back a moan at the gentle caress.

"Six?" Harry asked as he leaned down, his breath hot against his lover's flushed skin.

"No sir."

"Seven?" Harry whispered, his lips grazing the reddened flesh.

"Oh fuck…" Draco whispered.

Harry struck him again, the sharp slap echoing around the room. "What was that?"

"No sir!"

"Eight?"

Draco bit into the pillow beneath him; his skin was practically crawling with sensation and the lingering pain was exquisite. He screamed as Harry slapped him again.

"You will speak when spoken to!" He barked. "Eight?"

"Yes… yes sir!" Draco gasped as he took hold of the sheets, his grasp tightening as he awaited his punishment.

"Well," Harry smiled as his finger traced the curve of Draco's spine. "I appreciate your honesty. Count them." He ordered as he laid the first slap against the blonde's arse.

"One!" Draco gasped.

_Slap_

"Two!"

_Slap_

"Three!"

By eight, Draco was practically sobbing beneath the rough treatment and loving every minute of it.

"Mmm such a good boy." Harry hummed as he pressed his cheek to Draco's reddened and warm skin. He grinned as he pressed his tongue into the crease, licking a slow trail across his lover's entrance, before spreading his cheeks and thrusting his tongue inside.

"Oh god…" Draco choked out a sob as his thighs began to tremble.

Harry hummed as he reveled in the taste and scent of the man he loved, gasping as his hard cock brushed against the sheets beneath him. He pulled away several minutes later, flipping Draco onto his back and kissing his navel as he trailed his lips up the blonde's abdomen and chest, pausing to nip at his collarbone before kissing his way slowly up the long column of his neck; he stopped, sucking on his Adam's apple and laving at it with his tongue before continuing up his neck and to his lips.

Draco was ready, his lips parted as Harry's tongue pressed into his mouth. He groaned as he sealed his lips around the slick muscle, tasting himself. He thrust his hips forward, his hands groping his lover's arse and grinding their erections together as he ravished Harry's mouth with his lips and tongue and teeth.

"Draco…" Harry moaned as he felt his lover's hand trailing around his hip to grasp his cock. "Oh god…"

"Fuck me." Draco gasped.

"Yes…" Harry hissed, trailing a hand down to Draco's arse and pressing his fingers to his loosened hole.

Draco groaned as he felt Harry's magic tingling inside him. "Yes… Harry…" he whispered as he wrapped his long legs around his lover's waist. "Now."

Harry nodded as he grasped his cock, positioning himself at Draco's entrance and holding his breath as he slipped in at an achingly slow pace.

Draco gasped at the slow burn and the feeling of his lover filling him. He felt whole when he was with Harry, complete.

Harry held still as he pressed into Draco's tight heat. He was home; there was no other way to describe it. He looked down into the eyes of the man who had saved him, who had given him the will to save himself… the man he loved. He wanted to shout it from the rafters, to tell the world who he belonged to, mind, body and soul. "I love you." he whispered through trembling lips.

Draco smiled, his hand coming up to tangle into the dark hair he loved so much as he kissed his lover tenderly. "Show me."

Harry grinned; their gazes locked as he withdrew nearly to the tip before thrusting back in once, then again, and again.

Draco clung to Harry, his legs wrapped tightly around his waist as Harry searched for the right angle. He growled several minutes later, grasping Draco's thighs and bringing them up to rest on his shoulders as he continued to thrust.

"Fuck yes… right there!" Draco screamed as Harry hit his mark. Harry pumped his hips, holding the angle as he felt his balls tightening. He reached for Draco's neglected cock, stroking him to completion.

"Yes… yes… yes…Yes, fuck, Harry!" Draco screamed as he came, shooting his release into Harry's hand and coating their stomachs.

"Oh god… Draco!" Harry groaned as he felt his lover constricting around his shaft and ripping his orgasm from him; he stilled as he came, his release filling Draco's tight channel.

Draco hummed as he took Harry into his arms, pulling him down against his chest and holding him close as they trembled with the aftershocks. "I love you." he whispered against his ear.

"I love you." Harry said, burying his face in Draco's damp hair.

It was several long minutes before either man spoke again.

"Have I said thank you yet today?" Harry finally asked.

"The day's only just begun, and yes; I believe you just did." Draco grinned.

Harry chuckled as he rolled to his side, taking the blond with him. "Thank you." he smiled.

"You need to stop doing that." Draco smiled. "You've no reason to thank me fore anything."

"I've plenty reason to thank you… for everything." Harry said quietly. "And I intend to do so for the rest of my life."

Draco smiled, running a finger over Harry's lips and nose. "The rest of your life eh?"

"At the very least." Harry said; his tone was light, but the glint in his eyes was one of steely resolve.

Draco watched him for a moment, waiting to see if his expression would change, fearing that it might; but it never did. He leaned in, kissing his lover gently. "Alright." He smiled.

Harry's grin lit up his face as he pulled Draco back in, ravishing his mouth.

Draco sighed; this was how it was supposed to be. He had his love again, they had _each other_ again. There had been rough days over the past couple of months, and he knew there would more to come in the future; but whatever they had to face, they would face it together.

"Harry! Draco!"

Harry pulled away reluctantly, looking toward the fireplace; Charlie's head was just visible through the green flames. "I know you're up! You've got five seconds to get over here before I come through regardless of your state of dress… or undress as the case me be."

Harry grinned as he hopped up from the bed, grabbing a pillow and holding it to his waist. "Undress." He grinned at his friend. "What's up; and it had better be good."

"Bill's home!" Charlie yelled.

"Who?"

"Bill! Our older bother!"

Harry turned back to Draco who had gotten himself up and was getting dressed.

"Harry!"

"What? I'm listening! I didn't know you had an older brother." He said confusedly.

"Yeah! He's been gone for ages but he just showed up and… Harry you're not going to believe this…"

"I'm not sure if I believe it right now." He grinned.

"Just put some clothes on and get your arses over here!" Charlie said as his head disappeared from the flame.

Harry sat back on his heels, wincing as a pair of shorts hit him in the face, followed by denims and a tee shirt. "Thanks love." He mumbled.

"Don't mention it." Draco grinned as he buttoned his own shirt.

Harry pulled the shorts on as he stood to his feet. "Did you know they had an older brother?" he asked as he slipped into his denims.

"No; then again, I never asked."

"Me either." Harry shrugged as he pulled his shirt on over his head, his hair sticking up in all different directions.

Draco smiled as he looked back at him. "What's wrong." He asked; his brow furrowing as took in Harry's frown.

"Nothing." Harry shrugged.

Draco raised an eyebrow.

"I just… was hoping for a little role reversal later on; thought you might want to repay me for my treatment of you this morning." He pouted.

Draco smiled as he wrapped his arms around his lover, kissing him deeply. "Don't worry," he smiled as he pulled back. "We'll be home later on; and then, vengeance shall be mine." He grinned as slapped Harry's arse.

Harry gasped, biting his lip.

"Now come on, lets go figure this out." He smiled warmly as he took Harry's hand, squeezing it gently as they apparated to the Burrow.

**Author's Note:** I hope you all enjoyed it! Twenty points to anyone who can tell me which band Draco was talking about at the beginning of the story and the title of the two songs. Thanks for reading; now hit the review button and tell me what you think! : )

-Peace


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